I’m angry. I imagine lots of people are. I’ve had to take a break from the internet.

But, that’s given me time to think. Think about the dystopia bigots imagine. Where an abortion is as fast as a Starbucks run. Places where everyone is queer and wears weird clothes and has househusbands. A world decoupaged with rainbows and glitter.

This imagined future they’re so scared of that they gleefully strip women’s rights. Promising to come for trans and queer people. Should it be a comfort they neglected Loving v. Virginia as they declared privacy a privilege? That they feel the need to pretend racism bothers them?

I knew this decision was coming. It had been leaked months ago, but it still felt like a gut punch. But, it got me thinking…

This hellscape of theirs sounds amazing.

And I’d be the villain of this fever-pitched dystopia. Ideas swirl in my head, that haven’t formed into coherient thoughts.

• Disney’s history of queer-coded villains

• The sexual freedom of Barbarella. Cheesy 1960s scifi. Futures imagined as better than the present. Futures that never came.

• Aliens. Feeling entirely foreign and un-understood.

• Kaleidoscopes & prisms. Realities refracting. Infinite identities.

• Reaching out and feeling connected.

• “Horrorshow” from Clockwork Orange. Something simultaneously good (Nadstat slang) and awful, depending on perspective.